“Love, Peace, Help the World – It will get better, Can only get better” – This was the message that Ursula Wharton received from her son. Ursula lost her son, Josh, to suicide in late 2017. Over the years she came to understand a large piece of what that message meant – compassionate listening. 

Since losing her son, Ursula has been involved in numerous advocacy projects in the suicide prevention sector, and has become a LivingWorks ASIST and LivingWorks safeTALK Trainer.

“I immediately realized this kind of training, knowledge and skills are what so many of us in the community need. Largely because we need to be the ones to help instead of always outsourcing that support,” says Ursula. “The systems can be overloaded and not always necessarily helpful. What is helpful is real connection with people and to have the confidence to know you can support someone and talk through suicide.” 

Ursula is currently one of three finalists for the individual Commissioner’s Community Champion Award from the Mental Health Commission of New South Wales.

Deep Listeners

Ursula is the founder of a project called Deep Listeners. The workshops provide training to help people learn to listen to one another in a non-judgmental way, and how to foster connection and compassion. The two-day, foundational workshop is often paired with LivingWorks safeTALK training. 

Ursula frequently uses her deep listening skills to help the community. Her son, Josh, spent 11 days in the Intensive Care Unit. On the first anniversary of his passing, Ursula decided to do 11 days of kindness. 

“One of the days I was out in the community, I decided to give someone a jar of Nutella because my son loved it. The person that I went to give it to was living rough, and I explained why I was doing it,” says Ursula. “It turns out what she needed was a listening ear. She didn’t need me to fix her problems – it’s not about fixing the problems. It’s about being there and listening and letting someone talk through their pain.” 

Lived Experience

Ursula has trained more than 1000 people in the Northern NSW region of Australia. She says it has been a consistent theme throughout her workshops that participants have been grateful to have her lived experience in the room.  

“When I talk about my son and introduce that I had lost him to suicide, it brings suicide into the room in a reverent way where suicide is no longer a concept that isn’t real. It brings the reality into the room and that really helps people be able to move forward,” says Ursula.  

September 10 marks World Suicide Prevention Day, which Ursula believes is an important anchor for the suicide prevention sector. This year, she conducted a LivingWorks safeTALK workshop for members of the community.  

“I know from bitter experience, as do many people, we cannot make suicide go away by ignoring it,” says Ursula. “What World Suicide Prevention Day allows for is for people who wouldn’t otherwise engage in even thinking about suicide because it is too uncomfortable, just for that one day, to have some open-mindedness.” 

Support Each Other

Ursula believes that anyone can find a way to support one another, and learn the best ways to provide that support. She says one of the most powerful things she notices in the training room is when she gives an anecdote that helps the penny drop and helps the point make sense. 

“When you see somebody feeling the support in the training room, it’s not just the Trainer, it’s the way the training and activities have been facilitated that creates the safety in the room. For some participants it really allows them to have these cathartic moments and open up.” 

To learn more about Ursula and Josh’s story, head here. 

To learn more about suicide prevention skills training programs, like LivingWorks safeTALK, head here.